zenshiki

It's been more than 5 years since I've started working. Many things have happened for those 5 years. A lot of things I've learned and realized. Too many that I don't even know how to start. So yep, basically, I'm trying to find a new job. My current job's environment is toxic that I feel like if I stay any longer, I'll die. I'm not a person to easily be depressed but I'm starting to feel like my direction is going there if I continue on my job. Basically, I don't think people would even bother to read this stuff but I still write since this is my personal journal. Lol. I don't write to any journal nor blogs. I don't also publish things in my social media account. I dunno, I feel like I'm gonna be called a drama queen if I post stuff in my social media. I don't like people knowing how pathetic I feel right now specially if I see them in person. So yep, I chose posting this in this journal for the sake of ranting. Hopefully, when I enter a new journal since I dunno how many years have past from my last entry, I will be seeing myself in a good company where I can feel relaxed without much toxic around me. Wish me luck! Whoever made an effort to read this anyway.

Nothing is permanent in this world.  

Well, decided to update my journal. xD So what's up about me? After so many months I have work now but still continue doing some graphics. My project which is 2 months old is not yet near into finishing. Damn. -_-

4 more days and I'm out of college, I don't know if I would be happy or not. I will miss all the things I've done, may it be bad or good. xD

To top it all, I'm having an inner turmoil and I don't know if I can stand this. Man, this sucks.

I had a wonderful dream, I dunno. I mean, I didn't expect that person to show into my dream but it just popped out of nowhere. It was very a good dream and I was in a very good mood when I woke up. About my dream? It's so cheesy,lovely and adventurous.

First, let me describe this person. I met this person in one of my subject in college. It happens to be that I accidentally glance at that person and that person glances back at me and we just stare into one another for about 2-3 seconds.

After that incident, whenever I meet that person in the hallway and wherever place inside the campus I will always glance and sometimes we stare at each other again. I dunno,  it became a habit I guess.

Then I saw that person with someone. That person saw me staring and averted my gaze since that person is being hugged by someone. So in short, I'm jealous since I had a crush on that person.
(I will choose not to mention the name and just assign letter A to the person I am talking about)

So this dream is a very significant one because I didn't expect that person to invade my dream. hahaha, stupid brain. So yeah, the dream was so unorganized and it's not in order. We kinda stayed at A's house. I dunno but I remember I befriend A's best friend and that friend know that I had a crush on A. Then there's a group of people who want to hurt A and I saved A. I carry A to the hospital but on our way, I found out that A is not really injured. Weird. So went back to their house that night. I was assigned to sleep together with A's best friend and talk about A. A's best friend told me I had a crush to A so I didn't denied it and promised me to tell A about it. A and I became close, I was folding my clothes when A approach me and ask if I can stay longer in the house(I forgot how did we end up in their house). Then A ask if we can go out, I said yes but A added only the two of us. I smiled at A and told that A has already with someone and A said that, that someone is not even a real person and can dump anytime A want. So I just pinch playfully A's nose and poof, I was woken up by my dad.

It's so sweet that even if it's only a dream, I can have the person I have a crush with. The end.